Hit the ground pausing.
August 31, 2010 at 3:52 pm | Posted in Long Blogs | 1 CommentTags: chronicle, college, daughter, family, journal, life, motherhood, musings, parenthood, reflections, rite of passage, thanks, update
In the years that I used to be a touring folksinger, I bonded intimately with the expression “hit the ground running.” I would usually be working on several projects at once right up until we packed up the car to go, and then we would drive cross country for two days, or three, or even four, to our designated geographic region of the month. Upon arrival, I often had only hours before entering the first concert venue to open the performing portion of the trip. We always tried to fill as many days as we could with gigs, as down time is generally not too attractive during a tour. After the last gig, we would turn around and start the trek home, and once home, I invariably had commitments almost right away. It became a lifestyle. I am married to a “do” kind of person, we are both self-employed, and there is always something begging for my time, and for his.
For the past year and a half much of my energy has revolved around all the steps toward Chloe going to college. Each campus visit required an inventory of detailed planning: flight, accommodations, and rental car reservations; schedule particulars, both on our end and those of the school; signing up for a campus tour, for which we encountered different hoops to jump through for each school; setting up a violin lesson with a professor; and often many more. The application process provided a new and exhilarating ride to say the least. Preparing for auditions involved providing support for Chloe’s musical efforts as well as all the travel logisitics. And auditions themselves were nerve-racking for everyone in the generally vicinity. (I wish you could measure the quality and quantity of energy circulating through a conservatory on audition day.) Waiting for acceptance packets (or, in contrast, the dreaded rejection letters) to arrive in the mail was its own frontier to navigate. Then the month-long big decision, which led us back to more campus visits (see earlier in this paragraph…) And after that, the transition period between everything-being-about-getting-ready-for-college and Being There and Saying Good-bye.
Dan and I drove home as fast as we could. Six hours the first day (we left campus at 4:30 in the afternoon, after the last parent session, entitled “Letting Go”), fourteen hours the second day, and four the third. In one sense I followed my old protocol. I had Sunday afternoon and evening to catch up on email, put my teaching schedule together and contact all my students, and respond to last minute fall-semester questions, not to mention catching up with Rachel after the days apart. And on Monday I made announcements to three middle school classes, taught my first two violin classes and took Rachel to her lesson and orchestra rehearsal. Busy, busy, busy.
On another level, I feel as if I am walking through a different kind of atmosphere from the one I left last week. It feels thicker and heavier to walk through. Breathing can be challenging for a moment here and there. Time is ticking by in a new silence I had never noticed before. I am passing through a threshold I had not expected to be encountering. Raw is the best word to describe this new place. I know it is also filled with promise. The path that led to Chloe’s entrance into our family fold was one that multiplied the expansion of my universe exponentially, internally as well as externally. So it should be no surprise to me that her first step of departure from this nest would send me gear-shifting into the next catapult. I will not lie and tell you that I am eager. But I am willing, and I am as ready as you can ever be, if only by virtue of the fact that I am able to put it into words for you this afternoon. Thank you all for receiving it, and thereby standing witness for me.
Homeschool for mom: an update
August 9, 2010 at 10:32 pm | Posted in Long Blogs | 4 CommentsTags: blogging, chronicle, college, composing, homeschool, journal, music, music lessons, practicing, reflections, sleep, update, violin, writing
In my first blog entry, I told how my family had come up with the idea of creating my own “university curriculum” since I was flirting with going back to school. Since three weeks have passed since that post, I figured it was time for a progress report.
- Violin lessons. First and most importantly, I have found my violin teacher! I had my first lesson last week. I am happy to say that as much as I enjoyed getting acquainted with her over the phone, working with her in her studio was all the more wonderful. I have been dutifully, and for the most part, eagerly, practicing all week on etudes (Kreutzer), scales (Flesch and just plain), exercises (double-stops), and one piece (Meditation from Thais). It feels to me to be the perfect balance of challenge and manageability. I am starting off with one lesson every other week, which seems to work well for my teacher as well. And the bargain I have made with myself is my old standby – I will keep to my practice and lesson protocol imperfectly. When I miss a day, fine, back to it tomorrow. If we have to go an extra week or two between lessons, which will undoubtedly happen, I will have no trouble finding more to work on.
- Composition lessons. Not. The husband of my teacher is a composer. The night before my lesson I had listened to two of his compositions and liked them very much. When my lesson was over, my teacher introduced me to her husband, and I asked him if he taught lessons in composing. No, he doesn’t. However, he went on, why don’t I just begin composing a piece on piano and violin and see how it goes? Yikes! This was a dive-right-in approach I had not expected! And he was so pleasant and relaxed, almost innocent, about it, I found myself agreeing to try. So…
- Composing. A few days ago I sat down and began to write. It morphed instantly into a trio for two violins and cello. I am very happy with the theme and the harmonies of the first section, of which I have written eight bars. Well, seven and two-thirds. It took me hours! And I have no idea where to go from here, but then, I had had no notion of how to start until I did it. It appears this will be a long-term project, and I promise to keep you posted.
- Music theory school. In the meantime, I have been tutoring a student in music theory to get her a little better prepared for her theory placement test when she arrives at her college, and Chloe has been going along for the ride. It has been a great opportunity for me to review what I know and start to learn some more around the edges. I have to say, it is quite dry to learn music theory from a book! This is one discipline that is truly alive when using it, but utterly dead when on a printed page. So I hope to find someone to work with this fall. I know I will enjoy it far more in the company of another human being.
- Writing my blog. I am very excited to see that my list of subscribers and my readership in general are both on the increase! Thank you all for sampling something along the way in the past three weeks, and for coming back for more! Here’s the conundrum: the more active in my home-university I become, the harder it is to keep up with the chronicles! This is especially frustrating to me because I have been finding the writing to be a gratifying experience. I’m pretty sure that once Dan and I return from getting Chloe settled at her college, and Rachel has settled back into her school rhythm, I will have a little more time to follow my own pursuits. I look forward to that!
- Sleeping. Here on the home front we will be a little sleep deprived once school begins. It is so very hard to get up over an hour earlier than we have been through the summer, and somehow so very easy to stay up just as late. Darn. Why is that? Chloe, on the other hand, will have a class that starts at 8:00 only one day a week, and all the rest of the days she won’t start until 10:00 or later! Hey! I want to go to college! Okay, that was kind of an in-house joke, just in case you didn’t pick up on it.
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